We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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