okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
