How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
