its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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