it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
