Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
