After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We don't watch enough power rangers
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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