what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
