ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
