Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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