every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize