that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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