Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
