so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hippo gnu deer
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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