STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
