bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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