Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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