Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
