So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
