And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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