it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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