Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Drake has all the answers
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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