I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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