ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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