Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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