I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
