Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
