It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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