I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
