I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He shit in the fireplace
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
