is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
