I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
