dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
