Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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