well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
