bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
