Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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