hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
