why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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