I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
