I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
