Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize