17 year olds will be the death of me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
