Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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