Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
