i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
