Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
