fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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