Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
