Are we in a gay sports bar?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize