does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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