you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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