We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
