Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
