what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize