oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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